Our Chairman Richard Maycock was born in the United stronghold in Hull in late 1972on the shortest day of the year. Spending the first 2 years of his life in the United stronghold of Broughton the m North Lincolnshire. He proceeds to then make it perfectly clear to his parents that he wanted to move to Hibaldstow, less than 4 miles away to be with his loving parents and reside in the bizarrely hardcore psychotic ally fanatical village of Hibaldstow.
His Grandad bob, uncle Pete, chuck and Auntie Marie have all been season ticket holders at some stage (and some still are) over the years. Their Kids gave carried on the tradition. His perceived uncles (actually half due to age gaps) Henry and reg are probably big united fans as all of my cousins (half and real) have grown into match going season ticket holders.
People who have married into the family have either been or gone on to be loyal United season ticket holders. I’ll be of which Sir Edward Cook used to cause havoc with Chuffa and other hard core reds during the Docs era of smashing up towns in the 1979’s.
When I was about 7 I was bought my first football kit as a child. I sincerely doubt to this day that my mother accidentally bought me my first kit it happened to be that of Liverpool. Apparently it was red, righti nothing to do with my father being a staunch Abu then even though he had watched united once as a kid away to Leicester (Best was playing).
I refused to ever wear this shirt and thankfully about this time my uncle chuck (still a season ticket holder) took me to watch united play Sunderland I n what was to me the most exhilarating 0-0 if all time v Sunderland. I sat in the Stratford end and due to neglect as a child this is to this day the first memory I have as a child. I was so excited I went with my cousins John Coulson (season ticket holder) Rob Huxford (season ticket holder) good friend skeleton Bowers (season ticket holder) and a few others who I didn’t know so well. I believe my uncle Pete was there (20 odd euro credits with a ticket shared with my uncle chuck). Each and every one of these will be in Barcelona. One still claims he isn’t going but by the time the game comes and I’ve organised a ticket for him he’ll be there!
I started to go regularly in 1988 as soon as I got a part time job (aged 16) at the cardboard box factory owned by Robert Powell a Leeds United Executive box holder who liked Man United, his son Stef one of my best friends at school turned into a Leeds fan having previously supported Liverpool. I met Stef aged 20 and briefly swayed him towards the red army but unfortunately he switched to being a staunch sheep shagger in his early teens as his allugiebxes switched towards Leeds as his dad took him to the games. He would later call me a scum bastard with great aggression and hatred in his eyes, something I’m sure he cringes at now! (I have the domains to leedsunitedsupporters,com and thesherpshagfers.wordpress.com should you wish to get involved my dear friend? Both of these will involve significant investment otherwise someone else may buy them and ridicule your small town tin pot club who I personally hope get promoted. I have no feelings of hatred towards Leeds as they and their fans are pathetic and are justly considered a championship club these days. Look Stef you’re a good friend and if you want to use fellow sheep shaggers Dean (ex and probably still Man United even though he’s watched Leeds all over Europe) and crog then please remember I know a ‘famous’ Leeds centre forward (closet United) who is keen on me organising Marbella piss ups and golf days for his holidays down here. All you have to do (big boy) is contact me firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll set it up. No upfront cost just a percentage for me x
As my love for united deepened with each and every game I attended my knowledge of hardcore reds increased. Initially it was just myself, two cousins Robby Hux and Johnny C and good friend Cleg who attended the game (all of which will be in Barcelona (yes rob and Cleg I will get you tickets in their end with buggy, ted cook and tommy smith at face value as long as you’re prepared to pick them up from the Ritz Carlton on the Monday or Tuesday morning. You never know who you might bump into as it’s considered the best hotel in Barcelona. Not what you know lads! €120 for 2 nights seen as you were wondering. No doubt cheaper then Barcelona has to pay for all their players! It’s not like messi can afford his own room! I would prefe you picked them up on the day of the game and join me for a nice breakfast on a table selected by myself)
Bev and Ladlow then came on the seen (Bev is a platinum season ticket holder with Johnny C yes of course all will be in Barcelona). Bev and Ladlow are still loyal reds and I would say Bev (my managing director at The Artois Academy) is the one I know who has been to the most games over the years.
It was in 1989 when I’d have first met Pete Boyle arguably the number one United fan of his day not due to games attended but by the fact he has bought joy to thousands of reds with his lyrics to dozens if not hundreds of United songs. Pete doesn’t know my name but he knows my face. I only drank in the dog and partridge for a few years as my idiot cousins decided it was better elsewhere. Thanks a fucking lot Rob and John did you not realise that I was an Autistic Alcoholic who refused to pass his driving test until into his 30s for crippling fear of not being able to watch United as a young man. Fucking numpties, I will never forgive them for this even though I only found out yesterday that I have autistic and Aspergers traits.
I was fucking sectioned in September 2017 due to being a danger to myself. Bi polar manic phase my fucking arse and I knew it that’s why I stopped taking the anti psychotics. Yes I’m a psychopath but there are a lot of us out there it doesn’t mean we are not capable of psychotically torturing everyone and everything it’s just we haven’t done it yet. As my good friend Mick Quirke said about 8 years ago “DO NOT FUCK WITH THE COCK”
Thank you to my mum and dad I am so grateful to be in this position. Yes I’ve been to the brink of suicide about 6 times but I can only feel intense love and gratitude for their efforts or perhaps lack of it over the years more specifically the first 36 months of my life. Signups Freynd would confidently say that as I got sectioned I had the emotional brain of a 2 year old as I wasn’t nurtured properly (according to the textbook), I’ll be forever grateful for this because I have no doubt whatsoever I’ll never work again. That is of course unless you consider doing daft websites, organising the biggest piss ups United fans have ever seen and delegating real estate jobs to people I trust, yes you Jeremy of space Marbella (you know my number).
Have the snake, i look forward to seeing you in Barcelona, I probably won’t be drinking on this trip but you never know. If I’ve comfortably retired by then I may but dr Zulu and mark my sponsor at as and Ingmar a go who I met through as and who introduced me to the greatest living being in history (the Buddha) are all in attendance. Quite frankly I don’t think I can be arsed to invite them as I d feel obliged to put them up in the Ritz Carlton and I don’t think any of them would be prepared to smash Lionel’s legs to smitherines and bight his face off 🤣🥰🥰
Ps call me ted cook I have a proposition for you. You may delegate if you desire. A good friend of mine who happened to play up front for the sheep shaggers in the early 90’s told me that this was the art of good business. I concur squire. Yes you call me too, perhaps you and my good friend Ted would get along famously.
Pps Time to give me my season ticket back Jake the Snake 😘
Pps Marbella inspiration my story will be available on Kindle in the summer
PPOs I have 5 people I trust implicitly, all of which happen to be hardcore reds. I would like to take the opportunity to apologise to (in order) my beautiful sister Rebecca, my beautiful best man Dr Daniel OToole, Johnny c, Chuck and Sir Brucey Bonus de Fuengirola. If any of you ever need anything whatsoever you all know my number.
Pppps Rebecca it is time you got a picture of your 3 sons binning their bin dippers shirts as you realise that if they reach age 11 and are still bin dippers I will never speak to any of them ever againHonest 😘😘😘😘🤣
Ppppps if I wanted to achieve enlightenment like the Buddha taught us then I would carry on going to the Buddhist teaching. Although I jokingly used to say I have more time for ISIS and the taliban than Liverpool football club I now realise this is true as I have no problem feeling true love for all the disturbed genocidal mentally disturbed oeople of our generation as they probably had naughty parents.
Ppppps Thankyou Signund Freud, Albert Einstein, Sir Alex Ferguson King Eric Cantona and Lord Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. You have inspired me to do this.
I would also like to thank (in order)
Jessie J price tag
Queen I want it all
The Beatles let it be
The stone roses waterfall
The verve lucky man
Elton John rocket man
Oasis. Don’t look back in anger, the master plan, whatever Trevor (ps Liam man city fans,com is available for sale otherwise it may replicate the bitter blues.wordpress.com obviously I’ve not started this one yet as you are inconsequential non enTITIES
The killers or maybe kasabian anyhow which ever cunts sang. I PREDICT A RIOT
And more importantly each and every member of the red army that has ever seen one game live or on the tv etc etc
Still to come. The United years, drunken Dave, away days, Euro away days, interviews with ex united legends. the nuthouse, Marbella inspiration (my second website)
The full story will be on kindle to purchase. The price is free but donations will be greatly appreciated and will go towards, Kadampa Buddhism, AA, Nhs, organising the biggest party united have seen since 1999. That mid amigos is a promise
If you wish to donate to the party fund in Barcelona please feel free to do so. If you want one of my websites contact me. I will sell liverpoolsupporters,net for a tenner to the biggest anti scouser out there. To scousers it’s 5 million of which 1 million will go to me 1 million to charity and 3 million to the Man Utd supporters party fund.